Monthly Review : March

As a part of International Women’s Day, my company did a series of interviews to celebrate women’s success, and I was the interviewer. It was thrilling, and also extremely daunting because I have a lot of concerns with my ability to hold a quality conversation without sounding too shallow or dumb and to communicate and express myself well. Plus the fact that I can be extremely awkward. But, when my colleagues asked if I would do it, I said yes.

5 interviews later, I found myself a little sad that the series had ended. I had enjoyed the preparation, understanding the uniqueness of the lives led by each woman and coming up with specific questions to dig deeper. I enjoyed the actual filming process, the interactions with the women who so generously and humbly shared what they knew and of course, definitely, the jitters. I also enjoyed the wrap up, being able to share what I do with my friends and to get honest feedback to learn and improve.

It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay to look silly. It’s okay to be less than perfect. It’s okay to be awkward. It’s okay to have messy curly hair, pimple and pimple scars on my face. It’s okay to have sweat patches and not wear make up. It’s so easy to say and so hard to feel and believe, but this is me, setting aside my pride and ego and fear of failure, being afraid and still doing it anyway.

I actually managed to have time and energy for a lot of important things! With old friends, we played tennis, went for a film event, cooked, watched tv, played board games, and ate. With new friends, we played touch rugby, went kayaking, had drinks, and ate. With family, we went to the movie, hiked, took the vaccine, built and fixed things and ate, a lot. With me, I attended talks on design and issues surrounding women, ran, took naps, watched Grey’s and wrote this.

I also didn’t managed to do many things I wanted. I didn’t get to do the courses I enrolled it, didn’t attend a couple of talks on post-grad education and investment. I missed out in playing netball with old teammates, doing more yoga and going for more runs. I still have half-read/unread books on my shelf, not found a self defense class, not gone for the overdue dental appointment and much needed health screening. I may have forgotten to reply and/or ignored a few messages here and there.

Time and energy are such finite resources that with every decision to spend them with someone, on something, there is a trade off, an opportunity cost. I wish I had unlimited time and energy, but if I do, would I be less aware, less intentional, less grateful?

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